Grass is Greener where you water it !
By Dimple Kaur
Administrator dimplekaur.com
Posted on 05/11/2020
Today the morning started with a message to speak or perform for women on the occasion of Karvachauth and by evening I handled two cases of sexless and unfulfilled marriages.
The rituals are continuing since centuries and when I ask men to share their opinion about Karvachauth, most of them give an ambiguous answer- her wish ( my wife's choice, if she likes, she CAN and if she doesn't like, its OK)
The same goes with Dowry System. If men won't speak and take one strong side, how will the change come. Deep down, have they internalised the patriarchal mindset and are afraid to take the strong stand and say that they dont believe in it. and not only say it behind closed bedroom doors to appease their wives, but express their opinion openly, publicly and stand along with their wives to face the opposition if any of the redundant and obsolete thinking.
These kind of unmatched emotional sates of couples are often the cause of sexless marriages. What a painful state to be in! Sex is still not understood in the land of Kamasutra!
Couples in their 30's and 40's complain about no sexual chemistry in their married life. Some say "they did it the mechanical way to have kids".
Keep repeating this After me till you start asking me questions !
Sex, intimacy, pleasure are first mental then physical and they have to be CREATED !
Please repeat the above sentence 5 times :)
As the life responsibilities increase, certain medical conditions emerge, work pressures increase- Sex life and intimacy are severely hit. it will not be automatic. you will have to CREATE the magic.
Find time to love,
- Get dressed for your partner ! Pull out her favourite T-shirt , Put on that perfume, wear what your PARTNER likes and appreciates and vice versa too. Dress up for him, put on some makeup and perfume. Look good for each other and not just for the world.
- Speak with CARE- its not about competing as to who is more tired or who is the bread winner. Both the jobs have to be appreciated. Pregnant, Lactating, women during menstrual cycle, women during menopause need extra care. These also cause hormonal and mood changes. Kindly note that these issues are biological and natural phenomenas. So men who wish to cry "men also have issues " please quit reading at this point as this article is not catering to misogyny and patriarchy. I am talking about sex and intimacy here ( a gentle reminder).
- Create the mood - from lights to flowers to music , anything that stokes your fantasy. The mood has to be CREATED. Give time to each other by bringing only yourself to bed.
I thought before writing more pointers, it will be good to know the experiences of people who follow these 3 first.
I will be opening up 3 slots for couple work starting November 17th - for 3 couples to work on their relationships and marriages.
Please drop your emails at dimple@dimplekaur.com and I will get in touch with you.
Do write how you felt after Practicing above 3 suggestions.
Enjoy!
